#84: another freaking bridge

Jul 28, 2023

👋 Welcome to the 84th issue of Out of Curiosity, a weekly newsletter promoting ideas to help get 1% better everyday.

My name is Reza, and every week, I go through nearly 100 pieces of content (from books and podcasts to newsletters and tweets), and bring you the best in this newsletter.

In this issue:

⚙️ The optimization sinkhole

🔄 Course correction

💼 A project of one’s own

🔋 Redirecting your energy

⚙️ The optimization sinkhole

There is no such thing as the perfect coffee-making situation. There will always be compromises. But that understanding defies optimization culture, whose core tenet is that there is one item, one process, one routine with the capacity to blunt every cumbersome corner of our day. Its logic promises that if we amass or uncover or commit to *enough* of these hacks, our lives will become seamless, manageable, *easy*.
One under-appreciated consequence of believing there is such a thing as the ‘one best way’ in every aspect of life is subsequently living with the unyielding pressure to discover it and the inevitable and perpetual frustration of failing to achieve it. And not only frustration. It produces anxiety, fear, compulsiveness, resignation, and, ultimately, self-loathing. If there is “one best way,” how will I know it? If I have not found it, have I failed? And is it my fault?
Instead of looking around my living space with gratitude for the soft comfort I’ve built for myself, inflected with my peculiar tastes and preferences, I see *lack*. And that dissatisfaction becomes a sort of lingering fog, dampening my experience of the world.

→ Culture Study | 8-min read

🔄 Course correction

Ava explores the ease of falling out of routines, the intimidation of starting again, and the challenge of maintaining order in life without succumbing to anxiety.

How can you keep your life in good order without being anxious?
You sort of have to monitor yourself in third person, and be willing to course correct. You have to look at the way that you’re heading, and think to yourself: is this where I want to be in five years? Am I happy with a relationship that’s going this direction? Am I happy being someone who exercises once a month?
People are seduced by the beauty of the close-at-hand, and they don’t have the discipline or the predilection or the talent, maybe, to say: “I’m not going to go out tonight. I’m not going to waste my time on Twitter. I’m going to have five hours and work on my novel.” If you did that every day, you’d have a novel.

→ bookbear express | 4-min read

💼 A project of one’s own

The team that made the original Macintosh were a great example of this phenomenon. People like Burrell Smith and Andy Hertzfeld and Bill Atkinson and Susan Kare were not just following orders. They were not tennis balls hit by Steve Jobs, but rockets let loose by Steve Jobs. There was a lot of collaboration between them, but they all seem to have individually felt the excitement of working on a project of one's own.
That's why it's a mistake to insist dogmatically on "work/life balance." Indeed, the mere expression "work/life" embodies a mistake: it assumes work and life are distinct. For those to whom the word "work" automatically implies the dutiful plodding kind, they are. But for the skaters, the relationship between work and life would be better represented by a dash than a slash. I wouldn't want to work on anything that I didn't want to take over my life.

→ Paul Graham | 10-min read

🔋 Redirecting your energy

Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty had an awesome chat packed with valuable reminders. One thing that really resonated with me was the idea of focusing on the journey instead of just the destination. Mel's relatable visuals and metaphors made it even more impactful.And when you remind yourself that you're just on the bridge, you stop focusing on how long is it going to take and what's it going to feel like, and I'm not there yet.

You are on the bridge and you are going to be on the bridge until you get to this other side. And then guess what happens when you get to the other side? There's another freaking bridge. Every single episode is like its own bridge.
Meaning comes from working on something with intention that has importance to you. It's that simple. You can create meaning in your life by planting a garden if it's important to you. And for me, I think a lot about the act of going for a hike. The purpose of going for a hike ironically is not to get to the top. It's to be on the trail. And if you constantly stare at the top, you're going to be out of breath. You're going to tell yourself you have so much longer way out of the way we're going to get there and you are going to miss the entire point of your freaking life, which is the ride, the trail, the bridge, the mile markers, all of it.

→ On Purpose | 90-min listen