#30: it's not you
What's on my mind
Taking things personally is no different than being selfish!
When you take things personally, you’re making the assumption that everything is about you.
That’s not entirely true.
In fact, how others think and act has little to do with you.
People have their own definition of truth, which might be different from yours.
So, let neither praise nor criticism distract you from living your reality.
Keep working towards your goals.
And in the process, “Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
👋 Welcome to the 30th volume of Out of Curiosity, a weekly newsletter promoting ideas to help get 1% better everyday.
Every week, I go through nearly 100 pieces of content (from books and podcasts to newsletters and tweets), and bring you the best in this newsletter.
In this issue:
📚 The Four Agreements (by Don Miguel Ruiz)
🏁 There's no finish line
📖 100 books of 2020
💭 Underrated life skills
🧐 Things you wish you knew as a kid
📚 The Four Agreements (by Don Miguel Ruiz)
Notes on not taking things personally, real love and taking action:
Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
We judge others according to our image of perfection as well, and naturally they fall short of our expectations. Real love is accepting other people the way they are without trying to change them. If we try to change them, this means we don’t really like them. Find someone whom you don’t have to change at all.
Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way that we deny life. Inaction is sitting in front of the television every day for years because you are afraid to be alive and to take the risk of expressing what you are. Expressing what you are is taking action. You can have many great ideas in your head, but what makes the difference is the action.
🏁There's no finish line
It's far more likely to affirmatively answer "can I keep going?" rather than "can I make it to the finish line?"
This is true for most of what you encounter in life. And creative projects are no different:
It’s not a straight line from point A to point B. It’s more like a loop, or a spiral, in which you keep coming back to a new starting point after every project. No matter how successful you get, no matter what level of achievement you reach, you will never really “arrive.”
📖 100 books of 2020
A thoughtful compilation by DO Lectures that they do every year by asking their community the following question:
Which books have inspired you, changed you, shaped you?
💭 Underrated life skills
How to stop taking things personally
When people criticize you or reject you, it likely has way more to do with them —their values, their priorities, their life situation — than it does with you.
How to be persuaded and change your mind
How confident can you be in your own beliefs if you’ve never challenged them, if you’ve never seen the other side?
How to act without knowing the result
Sometimes you just have to do things for no other reason than to do them. Do them because you can. Because they exist.
🧐 Things you wish you knew as a kid
Nearly 600 answers to the question what do you wish someone had told you when you were a kid?
My pick:
dreams are more important than degrees.
Final Thought
Over the last 6 or so months, I've been working on a piece of tech that’s brining more focus (and less stress) to people around the wold!
And I’ve been lucky to be working with a talented team of individuals on it.
After recently hitting 1 million downloads on the App Store, it's now available for Mac.
If you’re currently a user, or choose to try it, I’d be curious to know what you think!
Take care,
Reza 🍋