#98: maybe means no
👋 Welcome to the 98th issue of Out of Curiosity, a weekly newsletter promoting ideas to help get 1% better everyday.
My name is Reza, and every week, I go through nearly 100 pieces of content (from books and podcasts to newsletters and tweets), and bring you the best in this newsletter.
“Maybe means no.” If you're dating somebody and it feels like a “maybe,” the answer is no. If you get an invitation to something and you’re just not sure, the answer is no. Whenever you say “yes” to something, you should say it with gusto, and say “no” to anything that doesn't feel quite right. Sure, sometimes we have to accept obligations that we don't otherwise want to have, but life is too short to constantly force ourselves to do things that are “maybes.”
“Decluttering” is one of those necessary evils. We always hear about how important it is and how much it will simplify our lives, but it’s painful in the moment, so we tend to put it off. But all those heaps of miscellany come with a cost, too. A study in 2010 found that living in a cluttered home can contribute to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol —and that’s not even getting into the mental clutter of maybes and to-dos.
All you need is to start and the rest will inevitably follow.
In the morning, I work out, and however long it takes is how long it takes.
I do not start my day until I've worked out. I don't care if the world is imploding and melting down, it can wait another thirty minutes until I'm done working out.
Right around here, things start getting really weird. You notice that Spirit, or Awareness, is what’s happening when you release your compulsive need to protect yourself from reality with thinking and planning.
Like, there is this part of your brain, this scared animal part that says, “I need to be judging everything right now, or thinking about how to guard my reputation, or planning for some weird fantasy of how the future will go, or I will die.”
It’s not exactly the inner monologue, but it drives a fair amount of the inner monologue. And when you relax that part of you, and accept, for a moment, that the universe is much larger than your judgements, and will continue with or without your consent, Awareness happens.
👋 Until next week,
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I get your general point but I fear it's a bit too broad. I have dozens of examples where people were unenthusiastic or clear maybes. One fellow I convinced, through some cajouling, to go mountain biking with me. It was his last day up at college and he wasn't going anywhere where there was good biking. I finally convinced him and he loved it. So much so that he went to great lengths to keep riding and ended up meeting his fantastic wife through the sport. At the wedding he thanked me for not letting him say no.
Or the person who was contemplating suicide. Living wasn't an enthusiastic yes.... but he's still around and back on his feet.
Or the girl I pulled away from studying to go for a hike. She was down and miserable and didn't want to do anything. At some point during our adventure she opened up and shared that she was in an abusive relationship and the guy was controlling her. Not accepting a maybe and not letting her 'declutter' her choatic life from this event help get her the support she needed to get out of that relationship.